Chapter 3- Lightening Up

This was a very interesting chapter to read because the author is starting to understand the emotional culture of the Millers and the Jones. At first he is very perplexed about the lack of emotion and warmth shown by the Millers even though they helped them over and over again with work, advice, and kindness. As he watched the Miller’s children working in the field he stated that a onlooker would have wondered why the whole nation around them goes to great extremes to avoid work, while the Amish had gone to conscious lengths to preserve it. Brene finally begins to understand the phrase they kept repeating: ‘Many hands make work light.” As people work together they develop a friendship. They have conversation, exercise, fresh air, and the work becomes fun.

Mrs. Jones, her husband Nate, and their four children came over to help him plant more vegetables for the winter. His wife Mary, he, and the Jones had a wonderful time together laughing and talking. They in turn, decided to visit the Joneses to see if they needed help but it was really to visit. Even though they have different beliefs they managed to accept each other and enjoy their time together. The author discovered that since the purpose of getting together was not social, there was no pressure to “like” or “be liked.” He said this indirect approach to companionship got them out of their shells and despite dissimilarities in social background and education they enjoyed each other’s company on a regular basis.

There were many humorous stories about milking the cow, shelling peas, picking the beans and weeding the garden. When their two-day marathon in the garden was over he came to a strange realization. The inventors and engineers may have overlooked something: physical labor is self-automating. The human body contains its own well-oil “laborsaving” mechanisms.

I know from personal experience as a football player that when you first start to train and condition it is extremely difficult and not enjoyable. As you work with the team together you begin to forget about your pain and discomfort and before you know it, your pain is gone and you are actually having fun.